An end to a hiatus?!

I logged onto MySpace for the first time in approximately 3-months.  I was on hiatus due to implications with my past relationship and the fact MySpace was ruling my life and was the door for the majority of drama and evil in my life.
 
What is with this buying/selling friends as pets shenanigans?  Nevermind.. I don’t want to know nor do I want to attempt to figure out this silly application.
 
In conclusion, I am back on MySpace but am not going to be blogging there (because I am definitely not anonymous and have caused a lot of animosity because of my blogs).  People need to grow thicker skin.  I am also not going to be logging and stalking pages.  I have detoxed from the drama of MySpace and plan to remain that way.  If someone gets knocked up/married/divorced and they want me to know about it then they can send me an email or call me.  There is no need for stalking pages and making conclusions.
 
Whoa.. after all of the above I am thinking of staying on this MySpace detox.  Is it really worth opening the door for evil to enter my life?

why are my weekends so

Exhausting? 
 
I think I was in hibernation the 2-years I spent with ExAss.  He never wanted to do anything therefore I didn’t do anything. 
 
This post is not going “there”.  NO WAY JOSE (no hard feelings Jose but I am just not going there).
 
Tonight I am going out with a few of my girlfriends to Enclave and wherever else our stilettos take us.  A hangover is in my future and probably a few blisters to add to my overly danced feet.  With much hope I will return home with all of the belongings I left the house with – WITH MUCH HOPE.  I will also come home with the addition of a couple of bruises per the usual.
 
I will have an estimated 4 hours of drunk sleep.  Drunk sleep is not good sleep. I will be rising and shining early Saturday because my baby bro has a little league game at 11 am.
 
I will consume approximately 3 bottles of Propel Invigorating water while at the game hiding under a pair of overly sized sunglasses.
 
I will then rush home to make myself “presentable”.  I will wash off the remnants of last night’s makeup and throw my hair up in a pony.  There will be no need for the use of dry shampoo now that Chicago has the smoking ban in effect.  This is something I love!  My hair actually still remains smelling fresh, as fresh as it can be after spending a night dancing and drinking.  I no longer have to dry shampoo or douse with Bath & Body Work’s Sweet Pea when in a pinch!
 
Then off to my work BFFs house.  She is having a Lia Sophia jewelry party.  I will spend money on jewelry that I don’t like because I feel like I have to and eat way too much finger food.
 
Saturday night will be up in the air but I will fight with myself to turn off the blackberry and sleep rather than painting the town.  We will see how this works out.  I have a 50/50 chance of actually relaxing.
 
Then Sunday I have a friend’s baby shower.   Let’s all reminisce of the Sex and the City episode where they go to the baby shower.  I will wear all black and probably have a couple of mimosas with L beforehand.  It’s a stock the baby’s library theme.  What book should I bring?  Hmm.. perhaps one on being a child born out of wedlock?  WRONG.  This is why my blog must remain anonymous. 
 
FYI – I am not saying there is anything wrong with being a child out of wedlock.  I’m being my harsh sarcastic self.  I’m done with my disclaimers.  I am harsh and sarcastic and if you like it (which I hope you do) continue reading and if not well don’t read me.
 
Alright.. I’m exhausted just by writing about my weekend. 
 
What are your plans? Its baby shower, wedding shower, graduation, christening, confirmation, communion season… Any of them to attend? 
 
If so, I suggest bringing a flask.  Just a little suggestion from K.
 
 
 

Im not a beer drinker

I, insert real name here, did a beer bong at the age of twenty-six on a weekday none the less!  Okay.. I did a few.  I did enough to actually have a tiny hangover this morning.
 
I’m not going to go into great detail about the above but I was feeling nostalgic and my brother’s new job at a big box hardware store obviously had him feeling a little “high school” to put one together.
 
Oh.. let me tell you I can still take ‘em like a champ too.  I’m not sure if this is something I should be boasting about.
 
It was liberating to trade in my glass of pinot grigio for a funnel and plastic tube full of beer.
 
To set the mood L and I listened to some Alice Deejay “Better off aloooooooone..” I sing so well when I am tipsy!
 
Alright.. enough about my beer bonging escapade because I know a few readers are getting jealous.  Right?!
 
Yboy texted me a couple of times last night and I was cordial with my responses (I think).  I can’t promise how I was laying in bed last night after taking my last beer bong and fiddling with texting back.
 
I do this new thing now.  After a night of drinking I wake up and delete all text messages sent and read because I don’t want to feel like an ass.  Therefore, I have no idea of the drunken messages that could have been exchanged leaving my self-esteem somewhat intact the morning after a night of drinking.
 
Alright – that hangover I was talking about has developed into a full blown hangover complete with a  pestering headache and some nausea.  Let’s all pray I keep this fruit leather I had for breakfast down where it belongs.
 
The 1st floor stalkers are back but they have changed up their moves.  They no longer take the elevator with me but now they watch me through their windows and then make sure they are in the entrance as I enter.  It’s quite ridiculous and growing extremely obnoxious but whatever.  Hold open the door for me like I am the queen of the building.  Awesome. 
 
I am no longer feeling embarrassed for them.  When one of them actually asks for my number they are not going to get a polite answer but rather a cocky answer that will make them feel like the immature morons they are. 
 
I would also like to ask when my email inbox became the entrance for all things DRIZAMA?!  Mani had the nerve to email me asking me how I was.  Are you kidding me?  I pushed delete quickly because I wanted to give her a piece of my mind alright. 
 
That’s all for now – no worries.  I have a full weekend of drunken debauchery ahead of me. Stay tuned.

Rinse & Repeat

I never understood the element of a relationship inventory after a break-up.
 
My therapist recommended I take “inventory” of my relationship with ExAss about three months ago and I pretty much told her NO!  There was no way I was going to inventory the good and I had already inventoried the bad the night he broke my heart into itty bitty pieces. 
 
L and my ExBFF came over and we composed a list of 100 reasons why he wasn’t the one and reasons why he was indeed an ass.  It’s a pretty funny list seeing it was composed during our consumption of 4 bottles of Pinot Grigio.  Yup.. the steno pad that highlights my 100 reasons why ExAss is indeed an ass who doesn’t deserve me is the only inventory I need and a damn good list!
 
The night he broke my heart everything was thrown into the dumpster minus the diamonds.  The first time he broke my heart I packed everything in a box and delivered it to him.  I knew this was the last time I planned on letting him destroy me therefore the dumpster was a better place, more finite.
 
Every picture, letter, card, note, and gift was disposed of.  I do not place remnants in a box for safekeeping. I dispose in a quick rash manner.
 
Goodbye.. teddy bear who I slept with for two years, polar bear I just received; I’m sorry we couldn’t have bonded longer, cute Cubbie and Bulls gear he had purchased  for me when he went to a sporting event I couldn’t attend, bottle of BITCH wine that he knew I would love which I did, pages in my Scrapbook displaying the “us” I thought we were, candles, perfumes and body splashes he had helped me pick out, DVDs we had purchased together, ticket stubs, pictures and the frames they were displayed in, Fray tickets for an upcoming concert, and UGG gift certificate. 
 
Alright.. perhaps I could have kept the UGG gift certificate and enjoyed the concert but I wasn’t thinking very clearly.
 
I rummaged my room until every single gift or memento of “us” was disposed of in the dumpster which luckily for me was going to be trailed away in two days by the garbage man. 
 
I do indeed know our garbage man is a man so spare me with your politically correct nonsense.
 
My inventory has always been – he sucks.  THE END!
 
I’m the girl who disposes of all reminders of the ex and forgets the good in the relationship.  Perhaps.. this approach is not the best approach seeing I have fallen for the same “type” of guy over and over.  This guy is the “wrong” guy.
 
It’s been 5 months since my relationship with ExAss ended and I still cannot inventory the good of the relationship.  I fear hashing up the good will just bring me more pain.  The pain I have finally begun to numb.  Then again that’s what I am doing numbing the pain until the next “wrong” guy comes along and I rinse and repeat.
 
My hair is not as fragile as my heart, perhaps to no longer repeat my relationships mistakes I must inventory both the good and the bad. 
 

P.S.

 

Amount of times my eyes filled up with tears = 54545646

Amount of times I full out cried = 1

Amount of times I wanted to text message ExAss “P.S. I love you” = 787987897

Amount of times I did = 0

 

I think I am clinically insane or just can’t get over this heartbreak. 

 

I will go with both of the above.  I am clinically insane therefore I cannot get over this heartbreak.

 

P.S. I hate you.

 

U ask - I tell

Its true.. I love talking about myself.  The good, the bad, and even the ugly.  I asked my freaders to ask me ANYTHING because I indeed do love gabbing about myself.  I received the following questions and have posted my lengthy answers.  Feel free to comment with any additional questions and I will post my answers in an upcoming blog.  If you really dont care to hear me babble you still get a link and I get to babble!

Jess asked :

 

“What was your favorite toy that you owned as a kid?”

 

How cool was lite bright kids of the 80’s?  I would create my own masterpieces by not following the templates, at least I thought I was the Picasso of my lite bright.  I vividly remember spending hours in the dark just pegging those holes and creating different flowers.  Nothing could interrupt me, not even Punky Brewster.  The lite bright was definitely a favorite toy, how many of those little pegs do you remember losing and stepping on in bare feet? Those were good times…

 

Blaez  asked:

 

“will you hire me and be the perfect boss?”

 

I would for sure hire you but I am not sure what a perfect boss I would be. 

 

I am a control freak.  I like things done my way and expect a lot from others.  My way is usually the right way, at least I think.  Hey.. I’m working in therapy on trying to let other people take control.  I’m getting better.  I have finally been able to let some of my girlfriends arrange a night out rather than me having to control every miniscule detail.  I’m going on a rampant. 

 

In conclusion, I would hire you and take you out to lunch (do you like Italian?) but you would probably be calling me every name in the book after you left work for the day and there would be a slim chance you would return the next day.  I promise you a good time at lunch though!

 

Stylish Handwriting asked:

 

“What is your happiest memory from high school?”

 

Unfortunately, high school wasn’t full of happy memories for me.  I switched schools a total of 4 times and I was quite the problem child for my parents. Depression hit me hard in high school.

 

At the beginning of my sophomore year my father gave me a proposition to move in with him and I took the proposition when he sweetened the deal by inviting my best friend to move in.  (weird situation.. Yes.  You can say that again!)  My father and stepmother actually adopted my best friend. (her single mother obviously was off her rocker to go along with this)

 

This situation only lasted about 6-months because I was very unhappy with the arrangement of living with my strict Dad but there were some interesting times.  It’s not often that at the age of 15 you are able to live with your best friend.

 

FreeandFlawed asked:

 

“What is the one state/country you MUST visit before you die?”

 

I MUST visit Italy.  DROOLING.. I’m sorry I was thinking about the fabulous cuisine I will enjoy while there because I must get there before I die.  Sooner rather than later.  Perhaps I will find a hot Italian driving around on a Vespa and he could throw me on the back and take me for some orange gelato.

 

My love for Italy may be the fact that I am indeed half Italian.

 

“Do you keep a lot of lists? How do you feel about post-its?”

 

I am a list BITCH.  I have loved lists and have for as long as I can remember.  I was always the girl at school with the perfectionist of a planner color coded and such.  I was such a dork. 

 

I keep steno pads full of lists.  My favorite being my list of qualities the perfect man for me should posses.  Trust me.. I add numerous pages to this list after a breakup.  My standards are getting higher and higher which is a good thing because early in the list there were such requirements as “owns a car” “doesn’t gamble excessively”.

 

Lists also rule me at work.  I have a steno pad right near my phone which I meticulous list all of the things I would like to get done in the upcoming week (work related).  My task list on outlook is detailed to the max just in case I happen to be hit by a bus and someone needs to take over.

 

My blackberry is the form of organization I choose for my personal life’s happenings.  My To-Do list is long and I never delete, I only hide my completed tasks.

 

Post-Its?!  If you can’t tell already they are right up my overly organized alley. I especially love the cute ones.  There are so many varieties that it makes me fuzzy inside just thinking about them.

 

“What is the best advice you’ve received and did you follow it?”

 

The best advice I received was to go ahead and take the chance by taking the job position I am currently in. I was very scared to jump the bandwagon and grow into the real world but with the help of my family and friends who told me “I could indeed do it” I did do it!

 

“Do you like jelly?”

 

I like the occasionally PB&J but I’m not a jelly fanatic.  I do love strawberry Goobers but you can only find the grape goobers nowadays! Memo to self:  Write to Jewel in regards to carrying the strawberry Goobers I love so much.

One of K’s Vices

The above owns me and I am not afraid to admit it. 

 

We all have our vices and mine happens to be expensive coffee. 

 

Well one of them.  I have more than one vice.

 

To my delight the above is opening (complete with drive-thru) on my direct path to work and right before I hop onto the expressway.  I will no longer have to cross 4 lanes of traffic or enjoy my latte at work because the convenient Starbucks is located next door to my building.  I can now gulp my iced grande skinny latte on my morning commute without the risk of getting smashed by oncoming traffic. 

 

Effing Fantabulous!

Oh Chelsea!

Have you seen Chelsea Lately on E!? Well.. If you appreciate hollywood gossip that is reported on in a very distasteful innapropriate manner… start watching! The show is hysterical.

As I was perusing the books at Borders I ran into My Horizontal Life - A Collection of One-Night Stands. I bought it because:

A) Chelsea Handler wrote it

B) It was about one-night stands something I have been wondering about lately - SEE POST

The best description of this book that I have read yet, “Chelsea Handler writes like Judy Blume, if Judy Blue were into Vodka, Ecstacy, and sleeping with midgets and nineteen-year-olds.” Could you imagine “Are you there God? Its me Margaret and I just swigged a couple of shots out of my parent’s bottle of Grey Goose”

The book delivers what it promises a collection of one-night stands. If you have a sensitive disposition please pass by this book and head on over to a good Nicholas Sparks book. BTW.. I do love Nicholas Sparks but this is not a book for the prude.

ME ME

I have been tagged by the lovely Lauren, who is a new blogger like myself and from her picture has awesome hair.

 The details:
-Post the rules on your blog
-Write six random things about yourself in a blog post
-Tag six people in your post
-Let each person know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog

1. I’m becoming addicted to harmful UV rays.  Why can’t I just be comfortable pale?

2. I never had chores growing up.

3. I broke my wrist in 3^rd grade while swinging on the monkey bars at the local park.

4. I’m seeing Armin Van Burren and Benny Benassi Memorial Day Weekend and am psyched!

5. I am a dancing fool!

6. I bought my first Etsy purchase last week – A super cute polka dot pink and brown bathroom set.
 
I have already tagged 6 people in my last me-me. Therefore, consider yourself “it” if you would like to me-me yourself!

Male Friendships

Male friends are fabulous in many ways. 

 

They give you awesome advice on the male prospects in your life, they don’t get pissy if you forget to call them back, they always eat more than you, they don’t bitch, whine, and or complain in every conversation, they can’t borrow your clothes, they don’t hash up the past, and most importantly they forgive and forget.

 

N has forgiven me.  He telephoned me on his commute to work as if nothing had happened.  He didn’t rehash my drunken debauchery nor insult me for being a drunken fool.  He conversed with me as if nothing had happened.

 

If anything I was the one who felt a little uneasy about it because I was in fact the drunken fool that stepped out of line (way out of line).